Questions
HAS SOMEONE ELSE'S DRINKING CREATED CHAOS IN YOUR LIFE?
OR
ARE YOU TROUBLED BY SOMEONE’S DRINKING?
Many of us arrived at the doors of Al-Anon without hope and lives filled with chaos. For the millions of people affected by the excessive drinking of someone close to them, every day can be fraught with bitterness, sadness and fear as they guard themselves against the effects of drinking.
In Al-Anon and Alateen, we discovered new ways to look at some of the same situations and hope was restored, Al-Anon is a worldwide fellowship of more than 600,000 relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. Al-Anon members suggest you ask yourself the following questions:
“One of the wonderful benefits of working the Al-Anon program is learning how to relax. Until now, most of my life sped by in a frenzy of activity, School, work, projects, obligations, all helped me focus outward. That way I didn’t have to rest long enough to feel how frightful my home life was,” writes an Al-Anon member.
A member from New York also writes, “Little by little, I made a life of my own. I started by going on mini-vacations, visiting friends for a weekend. Before Al-Anon I was afraid to do anything. I was scared of my own shadow. The program has given me confidence, self-worth, a renewed faith in a Higher Power and much gratitude.”
Al-Anon is not a religious program. It is fully self-supporting. There are 27,000 groups worldwide, including more than 2,800 Alateen groups for teenage members. If you are concerned about someone else’s drinking, make it your resolution to contact Al-Anon or Alateen
DID YOU GROW UP WITH A PROBLEM DRINKER?
Al-Anon is for families, relatives, and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. If someone close to you, such as a family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor, has or has had a drinking problem, the following questions may help you determine if Al-Anon is for you?
Alateen – 20 Questions
Has Your Life Been Affected By Someone Else's Drinking?
Alateen Is for You!
Alateen is for young people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. Sometimes active drinking has stopped, or the active drinker may not live with us anymore. Even though the alcohol may be gone and the alcoholic gone or recovering in AA, we are still affected. Many of us have received help from Alateen or Al-Anon. The following 20 questions are to help you decide whether or not Alateen is for you.
1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care?
3. Do you feel neglected, uncared for, or unloved?
4. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
6. Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
7. Has someone's drinking upset you?
8. Are mealtimes, birthdays and holidays spoiled because of drinking or other's reactions to the drinking?
9. Are you afraid to speak up for fear the drinking or fighting with start again?
10. Do you think the drinker's behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
11. Do you make make threats such as, "If you don't stop drinking and fighting, I'll run away?
12. Do you make promises about behavior, such as I'll "get better grades," or "keep my room clean," or "do anything you want," in exchange for a promise that the drinking and fighting with stop?
13. Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, she or he would stop drinking?
14. Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare the drinker into saying, "I'm sorry," or "I love you"?
15. Do you or your family have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
16. Are you scared to ride in a car with the drinker?
17. Have you considered calling the police because of abusive behavior?
18. Do you avoid dating or having close friends because they may find out about the drinking or fighting?
19. Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking stopped?
20. Do you ever treat teachers, friends, teammates, etc. unjustly because you are angry about some else's drinking?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, Alateen may help you.
OR
ARE YOU TROUBLED BY SOMEONE’S DRINKING?
Many of us arrived at the doors of Al-Anon without hope and lives filled with chaos. For the millions of people affected by the excessive drinking of someone close to them, every day can be fraught with bitterness, sadness and fear as they guard themselves against the effects of drinking.
In Al-Anon and Alateen, we discovered new ways to look at some of the same situations and hope was restored, Al-Anon is a worldwide fellowship of more than 600,000 relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. Al-Anon members suggest you ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
- Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
- Do you feel that if the drinker cared about you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
- Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
- Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
- Do you make threats, such as “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you”?
- Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
- Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
- Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
- Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
- Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
- Do you search for hidden alcohol?
- Do you ever ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
- Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
- Do you feel like a failure because you can't control the drinking?
- Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
- Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
- Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
- Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
“One of the wonderful benefits of working the Al-Anon program is learning how to relax. Until now, most of my life sped by in a frenzy of activity, School, work, projects, obligations, all helped me focus outward. That way I didn’t have to rest long enough to feel how frightful my home life was,” writes an Al-Anon member.
A member from New York also writes, “Little by little, I made a life of my own. I started by going on mini-vacations, visiting friends for a weekend. Before Al-Anon I was afraid to do anything. I was scared of my own shadow. The program has given me confidence, self-worth, a renewed faith in a Higher Power and much gratitude.”
Al-Anon is not a religious program. It is fully self-supporting. There are 27,000 groups worldwide, including more than 2,800 Alateen groups for teenage members. If you are concerned about someone else’s drinking, make it your resolution to contact Al-Anon or Alateen
DID YOU GROW UP WITH A PROBLEM DRINKER?
Al-Anon is for families, relatives, and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. If someone close to you, such as a family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor, has or has had a drinking problem, the following questions may help you determine if Al-Anon is for you?
- Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
- Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?
- Do you fear criticism?
- Do you overextend yourself?
- Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
- Do you have a need for perfection?
- Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
- Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
- Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?
- Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
- Do you isolate yourself from other people?
- Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
- Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
- Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
- Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?
- Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and/or abusive?
- Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
- Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
- Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
- Do you think someone else's drinking may have affected you?
Alateen – 20 Questions
Has Your Life Been Affected By Someone Else's Drinking?
Alateen Is for You!
Alateen is for young people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. Sometimes active drinking has stopped, or the active drinker may not live with us anymore. Even though the alcohol may be gone and the alcoholic gone or recovering in AA, we are still affected. Many of us have received help from Alateen or Al-Anon. The following 20 questions are to help you decide whether or not Alateen is for you.
1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care?
3. Do you feel neglected, uncared for, or unloved?
4. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
6. Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
7. Has someone's drinking upset you?
8. Are mealtimes, birthdays and holidays spoiled because of drinking or other's reactions to the drinking?
9. Are you afraid to speak up for fear the drinking or fighting with start again?
10. Do you think the drinker's behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
11. Do you make make threats such as, "If you don't stop drinking and fighting, I'll run away?
12. Do you make promises about behavior, such as I'll "get better grades," or "keep my room clean," or "do anything you want," in exchange for a promise that the drinking and fighting with stop?
13. Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, she or he would stop drinking?
14. Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare the drinker into saying, "I'm sorry," or "I love you"?
15. Do you or your family have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
16. Are you scared to ride in a car with the drinker?
17. Have you considered calling the police because of abusive behavior?
18. Do you avoid dating or having close friends because they may find out about the drinking or fighting?
19. Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking stopped?
20. Do you ever treat teachers, friends, teammates, etc. unjustly because you are angry about some else's drinking?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, Alateen may help you.